Hanging in There

I have not been able to update for the last few days because we have been gone so much and I am having trouble accessing my blog from my computer.  It has been a fun but tiring week here in Hangzhou.  We are seeing more and more of Natalie’s personality each day.  The first day she didn’t smile or utter a word.  The second day she started smiling and even laughing a little, and babbling.  The third day she was just laughing and joking around a lot, but started to cry when she didn’t get her way.  Yesterday, the fourth day with her, she was so hard.  It was a tough day because we were out all day and she never really got a great nap.  By the time we got back to the hotel and I tried to get her to lay down, she did for awhile but never fell asleep.  Last night she pretty much had a meltdown and screamed and screamed.  It was the first time I tried to get her to sleep and she wouldn’t settle down.  We have been resorting to giving her crackers and cheerios to keep her quiet, so she is starting to demand food all the time.  I finally got her to go to sleep (laying with me in my bed) by feeding her more and then letting her take her cup of juice to bed.  That is something I NEVER did with my other kids, and I know that right now we just need to survive and give her grace because of all the stress, but parenting this way is so foreign to me.  I am struggling a little bit.  By the end of the day yesterday I just wanted to get away.  Fortunately this morning my mom and Chad and Luke took her to breakfast and I stayed in the hotel room to be alone and start packing.  Natalie is just the sweetest little thing, with the sweetest little voice you ever heard.  She knows her name and who mommy is.  She is coming to me giving me hugs when I ask her to, and she will go to my mom or Luke but not Chad.  She only let Chad hold her the first day and after that she acts like she is afraid of him.  She absolutely will not let him hold her unless he is feeding her or giving her milk or something.  That makes it harder on me, that she won’t go to him.  We were prepared for that, but it is hard to see regardless.  She just doesn’t know how much her daddy loves her and how long he has been waiting to see her.  Sometimes even when she looks at him she starts to cry.  He is being patient with her but I know it is hard.  One of my friends here who is adopting also posted that she feels like she is still on an emotional rollercoaster, and that is so true.  I feel so elated to be with Natalie and get to mother her, but by last night she had me in tears along with her!

Please pray for her transition and patience for us.  Pray that we have wisdom to know how to deal with her in this special situation of adoption.  Pray for my sanity!  Thank you all for your support and prayers and comments on Facebook, I read each and every one of them and right now I think I need that to keep going strong.